Thursday, July 17, 2014

Are you done?

Yesterday, our family got the most spectacular news ever. My sweet nephew was born... welcome to the world Dhilan Liam (not including last name) at 6 lbs, 5 ounces. His parents were so excited to meet him and judging from how loving and kind they are to all their other nieces and nephews, this baby will  be so loved. Not by him, but by everyone--- you know how I feel about my nephews and my brothers so I am so excited for this journey, they are about to embark on.

My mama and her newest grandchild.

I've been thinking about families and our family in particular. Whenever, I hear someone is pregnant or had a baby, I feel a pang. A twinge if you will, call it longing, call it wistfulness-- I dunno but something is there... which leads me to the question: Are we done? 

It's funny, when Darin and I got together and got immediately serious, the question was when are we getting engaged. Then it was when's the wedding. Then it was why are you waiting so long to have a baby (Cassia was born 2 and 3/4 years after we got married). Then of course it was when is Cassia going to have a sibling. Now that we have two girls, the question is now are you going to try for the boy? 

I come from a family of three and Darin's the third of four boys. It's different now though. First of all, we're here by ourselves. We get visitors often enough (today we have friends coming for a week actually) but when all is said and done, it's just us here on a day to day basis raising our kids. It took a village to raise us, my both grandmothers and many aunts took a very active role on our lives and our childhood. However, here in our little corner of Cambridge, it is just us four. And then professionally, it's a challenge as well. I've had to take a step back from the corporate world for now, but I don't know where I'll be in a few years.

We have had this discussion about expanding our family on multiple occasions and for more than one reason, I've we've decided that we are.  Here are the signs that I think for our family are very telling that we're done:

I am selling/donating/giving away all my stuff with a vengeance. Seriously, when my first nephew was born, I put everything that could fit in a suitcase in there and sent it down with multiple people. Whatever couldn't, I then sent in a car to Liam (I'll call him that since I gave them my name-- that was what we would have called our boy if we had one). The objects too big to fit into a car, I've sold and I've donated so many of my girl clothes to charity.

I am beginning to think towards the future--- and those plans don't include babies. I'm beginning to think of new experiences for my daughters and our family like shows and nights out and experiences, none of which include a new born but all of which include sleep. Our family also loves to travel. We haven't been to Europe in more than six years and we're beginning to slowly think about making a trip in the next few years.

I feel that our family is complete. I don't think anyone is missing when I think towards the future. I always knew that we would give Cassia a sibling (God willing) but with Anjali here and me being a girl mom, in my gut, I feel that we are done... besides, if I have a boy, I'd have to change the name of my blog! 

So yes, for multiple reasons, I think we are done. I have nephews (and brownies) to deal with any pangs I may have and to get my baby fix. God is great and stranger things have happened but in my heart of hearts, I feel like we are complete. 

Linking up today with Salma, Nisha and Raj for

and also Annie for

What are your feelings on where you are with your family? Are you ready for more? Not yet? Are you one and done or two and through? Or is it you and your husband? Or you alone?

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  1. I also think about this, but we have one of each and I think I'm ready to start on the new chapter in our lives. Like you, I want to do more fun things as a family and enjoy things with them.

  2. I love this. We struggled to conceive our daughter and now we're having the same issues with ttc #2. We want a large family bit this is an emotionally draining process. I believe God will give me your same contentment when we have the family He desires for us.

    Btw thanks for stopping by. The Lasagna is one of my most requested. I think you'll love it.

  3. I don't know that this decision is ever an easy one. I know I want one more (ideally two) but also know my husband would be mostly ok if we stopped now. I keep telling him that if we don't have one soon, we'll be so far out of the baby stage that it will be a huge shock to us!

    Thanks for linking up today!

  4. Beautiful pictures of your nephew! Only you (and God) can tell when you are done expanding your family. Sounds like you're pretty excited for the next chapter!

  5. Congratulations on your adorable nephew! I go back and forth on the am I done question. It depends on the day, but at the end of it, I have one of each and I couldn't ask for more!

  6. I think you should try for the boy...and maybe a nanny :)

  7. I am totally with you on this, we (I) are done and I'm happy. Looking towards the future too and like you. thanks for linking up!

  8. I'm totally with you on the pangs - I feel them whenever I see a baby. Truth be told, I wish I had one more, but now that mine are 10 & 7 it feels ridiculous to do it all over and leave one child without a sibling that is close to him/her in age. So I guess we are done too, even though I would love to have one more!

  9. You have a beautiful family. It took me 'til my 3rd child to realize that our family was complete. Congrats on your new nephew!


Hearing from you makes me so happy!!

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