it's my girls' world

 Build your stash of containers. 

Sunday prep.

Make lunches the day before

Leftovers are awesome

Magic formula

Make it fun

When I first had Cassia, when I noticed how she treated my baby, I asked D's mom if she loves her grandchildren as much as her children. She replied-- more. She said that you look at your grandchildren, you see this miracle and you think 'did my child do this?'. My grandmother always told me that as well. As I can't imagine loving anyone more than I love my children, the verdict is still out on my end.

As I've written before, we were blessed to have two sets of grandparents here for the holidays. Yesterday, D's parents left. They spent about 5 weeks with us... longer than they've spent for the past few years. Though they'll miss the kids especially, I think the adults in our house will miss them more. As it was so cold out, we were indoors mostly so we spent lots of time together. We played games, cooked, chatted, shopped (my mother in law loves the mall), dined out maybe more than we should after the holidays, watched some irreverent TV (sorry mom) and just spent quality time together. The house is empty without my father-in-law on the phone and my mother in law and her great cooking.

My kids won't have the same access to grandparents that we had growing up. My family would visit my grandmother every single weekend. We would have Sunday dinner, great conversation and walk away with $5 as our second allowance for the week... I think my cousins nowadays get $20! More than that thought,  it was about family, tradition, respect and the wisdom of elders. My grandmother was there in our earlier years as our childcare when our parents went to work,  in the later years as a built in babysitter when we were sick and in the even later years as a supporter during our teenage and young adult angst. Up until now, my grandmother is one of my favourite people.


So what do we do? We rack up those frequent flyer miles and make the trip to TNT. Also, we load up the Lexus (D doesn't allow eating in the A4) and head down to NYC. In the meanwhile, our inn is always open for visitors!

A bit of a while ago, I wanted to do a blog post titled "The Fabulous Fours". Seriously guys, there are some stellar moments. It's that mixture of preschooler and kindergartener that's so cute... like when she says "Fudgy Apples" instead of "Fuji Apples" and "new-cus" as a fancy word for boogers instead of "mucus". She is the cuddliest snuggler and she enjoys some of the little things like choosing decorations, celebrating events, having the doorbell ring and making popcorn. Cass can totally get ready by herself and has started to do small chores like tidying up and washing some basic dishes. She articulates what she wants to say slowly but quite well and I am often in awe of her smarts. She asks me questions that I sometimes can't think of right away-- like why is water clear and the sky so high up. I love the smart, articulate, personable child she is becoming. She is amazing and sweet and we simply can't imagine life ever being as interesting.

If you are easily offended or disgusted, this might not be the post for you... you've been warned.

Like other immature people, I enjoy the occasional potty humour. That being said, as I write this, I can't help but shudder while I chuckle.

Okay, so we got back from a wonderful but tiring thanksgiving (more about that later). After feeding the kids, I changed A's dirty diaper-- footnote, it was not the pee kind of dirty. Darin was going to bathe her in a few minutes so I decided to let her be 'free'- aka no diaper.

My brother called me today with wonderful news.... He's a new daddy to the most beautiful, healthy little boy! I love this baby so much already and I haven't even met him yet. I choked up with excitement and joy about the journey that he and my sister in law are about to go through and how their lives are about to change.

I didn't get to tell him though about how he will never ever love anyone as much as he will love his child. You think you know love and then you have a child and it is then you realise what love is. When Cass was born, Darin held her and turned to me and said "how does it feel to go from my favourite person in the whole world to my second favourite person in the world, all in one day?" I didn't tell my brother that you know have this new found respect for other parents and your parents for that matter and you can't imagine that you were loved as much as you love your child.

I didn't get to tell him how powerful and powerless you are all at the same time. You are powerful in that you are molding this child, their values, their behaviour, their morals and ethics. You decide what school they go to, what vitamins they take, whether they do soccer or gymnastics and if they should be allowed to have a cookie before dinner. But then you also have to let them out in the world. You can't stop illnesses, bullies and accidents. You are powerless in the universe and you begin to wear your heart on your sleeve. Every time you hear about a tragic incidence, you think not only about the person but also about their parents and their immense heartache and you say a silent prayer for them....

1. Be patient with people- Don't be quick to snap, even if you think they are wrong.
2. Always buy gym shoes 1/2 size bigger to accommodate your socks
3. Realise the importance of diet, health and fitness for everyone- not just for weight loss but overall well-being
4. Always keep in touch with friends and family- my mom is better at using that phone and keeping in touch with people than anyone else I know. Seriously, she counts the long distance minutes she has in her plan each month and uses every single one
5. Realising that you are not always the boss of each plan, choice and decision and that's okay
6. Sometimes it's better to be kind instead of striving to be right- I can't remember ever hearing her say 'I told you so. '
7. As you get older, wear lighter coloured nail polish on your toes- big difference...just saying
8. It is never to late to learn- both parents strive on this. My mom has declared this year "The Year of Technology" and is learning to improve her use of the computer, email. She even got an iPad... although I think all she does on the iPad is read this blog. 
9. Make a really big deal out of birthdays! Up till now, I get a care package for my birthday and a really nice card. 
10. Wherever they are and however busy everyone's life is, be there for your children- you're their biggest champion!

Happy Mother's Day to all.

Darin and Cassia have such a beautiful bond. First of all, let me just say that Darin is such a wonderful daddy. He is so kind, sweet and patient with her. He teaches her lots of different things yet gently but firmly corrects her when he has to.

Cassia is a huge fan of Daddy. These days also when he leaves for work without her, she sobs for a long time. It is so heartbreaking.  She is so excited when he comes home. Before he does, she keeps asking me "When is Daddy coming home?" When she hears the beep of the alarm when he opens the door,  she shrieks "Daddy!" and wherever she is in the house she races to give him a hug.

These two have daddy daughter dates, read stories, watch movies (Darin actually watches the shows with her, I usually end up tidying up or cooking) and play pretend all the time. He usually does bedtime as well and when he is not around, I sometimes have tough time sometimes getting her to settle in...let's just say on those days I put her to bed when it is still light outside.

I just love to listen to their conversations  as they are so touching and quite amusing. Here's a quick example:

Cass: Daddy, did you make money at work today?
Darin: Yes I did, honey.
Cass: Well where is it?
Darin: Ummm.
Cass: Oh, you left it at work then?
And then he had to get into the whole explanation about how grown ups earn money every fortnight or month.


And so it goes ...

Do you like his blond braid?

And hers?

1. A baby's laugh warms your heart more than anything else possibly could. I dare you not to laugh as well.
2. A Happy Meal is very aptly named. We don't do it too often but once a month or so when it's Happy Meal time,  the joy and excitement is pretty infectious.... and their McBistro sandwiches are a yummy, healthy alternative for the adults. 
3. Your lips on their forehead works better at detecting a fever than any thermometer
4. Potty train in the summer months if you can help it
5. As babies, a bedtime routine is the best thing I've done for both girls... and for myself. Massage, bath. Book, bottle or breast and then bed! Many a new mom have thanked me for that bit of advice.
6. You will never watch the evening news or read the paper again the same way. Everytime you hear or read of an awful accident  or tragedy involving, you will think of your child, that child and that child's mother and the immense heartache they are going through and say a small prayer (well I do anyway) for the affected family
7. A wet comb through their hair makes the smoothest ponytail
8. Spend time alone with each child doing a special activity. Darin is better at this than I am but ever so often they (D&C) do a Timmy's run where I suspect she gets a donut for breakfast.  
9. You don't need to spend a lot of money on toys-- especially when they are babies. Old remote controls, scarves containers and blocks can keep them entertained for ages
10. You will never sleep as little or laugh as much as when you have a baby. Also, you will never EVER love as much. 

When I was pregnant with Cassia, I went into full on research mode. I read all the  literature I could find online and I spent a small fortune on books about pregnancy and parenting. I knew when the baby was as tiny as an olive (trivia: the name that Drew Barrymore chose for her baby is because of Week 14 or whatever) and the must buy items needed for a new born. The parenting books however, intrigued me the most.  I read a wide variety, running the gamut of  many different parenting philosophies. The one that rang true to me was "The Contented Baby Book." I would be that parent who believed in a routine, crying it out and sleeping through the night at eight weeks.

Enter the newborn. Enter baby blues, sleepless nights and exhaustion so extreme that my body actually hurt. I reread my bible 'The Contented Baby" and all but threw it across the room. I also reread The Baby Whisperer, a book that I thought had some good nuggets but was generally too soft. This time was different. First of all,  the tone it was written in  is kind, gentle (the author calls you 'mum' and 'luv) and  non judgemental. A bit hokey, but you try even reading on 4+ hours of interrupted sleep per day. The basic tenets were:

•  Getting to know and determine what type of baby you had when deciding how to react to their cues
•  "EASY",  Eat, Activity, Sleep and You (the caregiver's time), the gentle guided routine that I follow to this day. You do this several times for the day until bedtime. 
• A solid night-time routine more than anything else to lead to a good night's rest for baby and for mom. 
• The 'dream feed', feeding the baby while they are still asleep so that they last through the night in the first few months. HUGE in this household and something I'm still doing for Anjali

This morning, Cassia woke up crying. She didn't want to go to school because she said her friends weren't playing with her. She mentioned it a couple times over the weekend but this time there was a lot of distress. My heart broke a little. Yes, I know that there are always many different sides to a story but as a Mom, you want to protect your child and you jump to their defence as gut instinct. They spill it, we wipe it; they drop it, we pick it up; they cry, we wipe their tears (and cry a bit on the inside as well).

It turned out okay. We told her to play with other kids and speak to the teacher if she was sad. Darin spoke to the teacher when he dropped her off and waited to settle her in.When I went for her, the teacher said she kept an eye out and for the most part it was good today.

I am dreading the day that one of my girls experiences distress that I can't help with. One day, I will have to send them out into the world where they will obviously make mistakes. I can only hope that I will instill in them a strong character, a kind heart and the knowledge that they will always be loved unconditionally by their parents.

Our little Anjali is quite the creature of habit. She gets up at around eight each morning, depending on how much noise big sister and dad make getting ready for preschool and work. Then it's diaper change, milk and playtime until she starts getting cranky around 10 for her mid morning nap. Neither girls have been long nappers so naps range from 40 mins to 1.5 hours depending on the day. After that it is milk and playtime while mom works out. Nap time once again at around 2 and then cuddling and playing while her mama does her chores. We run errands if necessary and then pick up Cassia. She then plays with her big sister and has some more food until it is time for bath, massage and bed.... Down to bed at about 7, we dreamfeed her at 11 and then straight till morning until it begins again... Oh Anjali, if I was so inclined you would make me want another... I'm not though!!

It was 2008 when I first heard about a 'baby blog'. Pre-kids, at the time, I thought it was a huge waste of time and way too public allowing people unwanted access and insight into our lives. 

Fast forward to 2010, six months after our beautiful Cassia was born. I revisited the idea as a way to document our lives for family and friends as we live in Canada and almost everyone else is elsewhere. Again, when I started back working, I decided against it.

Fast forward three more years to 2013. Our sweet Anjali is almost 6 months and I've been toying with the idea again for the past few months. This time it is for us. Lots of events have made me realise that life is so short and we really need to remember the small stuff and appreciate it. I think about the dreadful "New York Nanny" horror story and I spent days trolling the mother's blog where she documented all the little details of the beautiful lives that were lost. She must be so thankful that she has that. I also think about Sandy Hook Elementary and I cannot fathom what these parents are going through. They probably wish for something to hold onto. A couple family members have also passed away at a young age making me realise how I take things for granted. Even our Cassia is almost four and I just don't know where all the time went and there are so many details we have forgotten. Ever so often, I enjoy looking at my own photos on Facebook of my daughters fondly remembering that time

So yes, I've jumped on the blog bandwagon... albeit a bit late. The grammar may not always be the best and the writing may sometimes be hasty. Readers and comments are very welcome, but this more than anything is my labour of love for my sweet girls, my husband and myself to remember these very special moments and memories.