Sunday, October 6, 2013

I didn't get to tell him

My brother called me today with wonderful news.... He's a new daddy to the most beautiful, healthy little boy! I love this baby so much already and I haven't even met him yet. I choked up with excitement and joy about the journey that he and my sister in law are about to go through and how their lives are about to change.

I didn't get to tell him though about how he will never ever love anyone as much as he will love his child. You think you know love and then you have a child and it is then you realise what love is. When Cass was born, Darin held her and turned to me and said "how does it feel to go from my favourite person in the whole world to my second favourite person in the world, all in one day?" I didn't tell my brother that you know have this new found respect for other parents and your parents for that matter and you can't imagine that you were loved as much as you love your child.

I didn't get to tell him how powerful and powerless you are all at the same time. You are powerful in that you are molding this child, their values, their behaviour, their morals and ethics. You decide what school they go to, what vitamins they take, whether they do soccer or gymnastics and if they should be allowed to have a cookie before dinner. But then you also have to let them out in the world. You can't stop illnesses, bullies and accidents. You are powerless in the universe and you begin to wear your heart on your sleeve. Every time you hear about a tragic incidence, you think not only about the person but also about their parents and their immense heartache and you say a silent prayer for them....

I didn't get to tell him how his life will change. Yes, there will be no spontaneous trips, late night partying and many sleepless nights for a while. Yes, for the next couple weeks the new parents will be so sleep deprived that their bones will ache and so confused trying to understand this little boy that their heads will hurt. But it will change.... and the baby's first smiles will be one of my brother's favourite memories of all times. The baby's belly laughs will make them laugh more than the baby himself is laughing and he will spend hours staring at his baby's face, hands and feet thinking that this is perfection!

I didn't get to tell him how his relationship with his wife will change. How he will begin to love her even more when he sees what a good mom she is. How he will fall in love with her all over again for very unromantic reasons and they will become a true team.

I didn't get to tell him how he will change. That no matter how decisive he is as a physician in the hospital, he will constantly second guess himself as a parent. That he will be reduced to a primitive level of a lion protecting his cub should another kid push his child in the playground. That he would sacrifice his life for his little boy and possibly give up his dreams in the hope that his son would accomplish his.

No, I didn't get to tell him all of this. But I think he'll figure it out soon enough....

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