Monday, November 17, 2014

The thaw of Scrooge

Anyone who knows me, knows that I'm usually Santa's Elf. This is definitely my favourite time of year from the spirit of the season to the carols, the giving, to the shopping, the parties to the cheeseball movies (and the actual cheeseballs too actually),  the baking to the lights and decorations.... I love it all! I begin mid- November and don't stop until January 6th.

This year however, it's been a little different. As some of you know, early this year, D lost his brother and it's been very sad for our family. Sunil spent several Christmases with us and we would have fun celebrating--- eating lots of treats, buying presents, decorating and very subtly fighting between us (him and me) for the remote-- I'd want to watch my Christmas movies and he'd prefer the action flicks of the day. He was always very thoughtful in his gift giving and we often conspired on this. So this year, we'll miss him and I've been more Ebenezer than Elf. 

But the kids... and my kids (well C anyways) look forward to the season throughout the year. Like her mama ( I guess my Christmas spirit in seasons past was very infectious) , this is her most special season.  She has been looking forward to it all year and talks about it daily. Carols have begun in our house and she is looking through catalogues and reading holiday books already.

 So I chug on 'cause first and foremost I'm a mom. And that's what we do. Our season will be quieter, a (more subdued)tree will be put up, we will sing our carols and we will do our baking. Because also, that's what Sunil would want. For us and our kids. 

And you know, bit by bit by bit I'm slowly thawing out. A random carol overheard in the mall made me smile. The scent of a Christmas candle (only second to fall candles) made me happy... and then on Saturday, we took our kids to our local Christmas parade with some friends as one of my friends' kids was in the parade. It was fuh-reezing but between the carols, the candy canes, the characters and the floats, I began to feel more and more Christmas spirit and gratefulness for this special, special time of the year.  

All bundled up...

My kids basically had tim-bits (donut holes) and cookies for dinner. 

Have a wonderful day everyone.

Linking up today with The Grateful Heart with Ember Grey

PS. My mom has double knee surgery today in NYC. Thoughts and prayers and all our love your way, mama! We love you always.

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  1. I'm sorry for your loss. I'm sure he'd want you to rock the Christmas spirit :)

  2. I am so sorry to hear about your loss. That can bring such a cloud over the time of the year that everything happened. I am glad you are able to push through and try to enjoy things with your family. Always so much fun and beautiful <3 Prayers to your mom today!! xo
    P.S. I tagged you in a post this weekend!

  3. I know how you feel. I love Christmas too, but it always brings memories of family members who are no longer with us (including my grandmother that we just lost this year). It's easy to get caught up in sadness, but there are small pleasures to enjoy, all the more apparent when you have little ones to keep you company. Take care!

    PS I am totally fine with Timbits for dinner!

  4. Gosh, I'm so sorry for your loss. I feel like that's one of the precious things about Christmas... even through pain or sadness or hard life situations, there is still something so magical about it - something I believe everyone, on this earth and in Heaven, are celebrating... and to think that we're all celebrating together, makes it feel less lonely when you're physically not together. I'll be keeping you all in my prayers (as well as your mom!)

  5. So sorry about your loss sweetie. I'm glad you've been able to chug on for the kids though. (Too funny they only had donuts and cookies for dinner!) Thinking of you and your family this holiday season

  6. I'm so sorry for you and your husband's loss. The holidays are so tough after a recent loss of a loved one...I know it must be difficult to feel the spirit of the season through the grief. But I hope that you are able to find peace about his passing, and that you can remember the wonderful times you shared in previous holidays together and relive those memories with your precious kiddos!

  7. I'm sorry for your family loss, I hope you are able to find a way to honor him through this season in what you do. I also hope you get a spark to ignite your contagious spirit :)

  8. So sorry for your loss. It will always be hard but the first set of holidays without a loved one always has an extra sting. Will say a prayer for your family!

  9. So sorry to hear of your loss. I lost my brother 9 nines ago in September and that first holiday season was terribly hard. At the time, I did not have kids yet, so it was definitely a bit easier to get away with not really celebrating the holiday, but like you, I love the holidays, so I couldn't do that for long (then of course the kids came along!) Here are a few things we did. That first year, we took the money we would have used to buy him a gift and bought for a needy child. Every year my mom makes a flower arrangement with four candles in it. Before we eat dinner, we each take a turn lighting a candle and reading this...

    Memory Candles

    As we light these four candles in honor of you, we light one for our GRIEF, one for our COURAGE, one for our MEMORIES and one for our LOVE.

    This candle represents our GRIEF. The pain of losing you is intense. It reminds us of the depth of our love for you.

    This candle represents our COURAGE – to confront our sorrow. to comfort each other, to change our lives.

    This light is in your MEMORY – the times we laughed, the times we cried, the times we were angry with each other, the silly things you did, the caring and joy you gave us.

    This light is for the light of LOVE.

    As we enter this holiday season, day by day we cherish the special place in our hearts that will always be reserved for you. We thank you for the gift your living brought to each of us. We love you.

    ~From Holiday Help: Coping for the Bereaved, by Sherry Gibson, B.S., R.N. and Sandra Graves, Ph.D.

    Take care of yourselves this holiday season. It is very hard, but each year will get a little easier. XO Sandy


Hearing from you makes me so happy!!

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