Monday, February 9, 2015

A heavy but grateful heart

My weekend posts are usually fun and light-hearted but this past weekend was a tough one. Someone who's been a part of my life for as long as I could remember passed away after a life-long battle with epilepsy that progressed as she got older. She was only 47.

 V was not really a blood relative of mine. In fact, I'm not entirely sure if we're totally related at all but in so very many ways and in absolute certainty in my mind, she was family. She had such a tough life, from being abused as a kid, to a brutally abusive marriage to a lot of abandonment but through it all, instead of becoming hardened and bitter, she was always kindhearted, gentle and thoughtful.

V lived with my grandmother for the past 25 years in Trinidad where I grew up….their relationship I know was not a blood one but to me it's what humanity is made of. My grandmother basically took her in when she really had no place else to go and V adored Grandma. Grandma cared for her, they went everywhere together, they cooked, did all their chores together and kept each other company. My grandmother who had four out of her five daughters in the US, didn't want to travel for too much as she didn't want to leave V for too long. She cared for V when she suffered from her seizures (which became very frequent towards the end of her life) and V helped her so much especially as Grandma  got older. As one of my cousins said, that house will never be the same. I can't imagine and I worry about how much Grandma will miss her.

But it's not only Grandma.  WhatV has done for me, and my family, and the kindness she has shown us through the years is something else.  Growing up, she was a bit like like a big sister to me. The one I confided all my pre-teen and teen angst too.  She was the one who gave me my very own copy of Growing Up and Liking It. Remember Patty, Donna and Ginny?? (side-note, did you know that Judy Blume wrote it?!) I would ask her all these different questions and she would be the one to answer gently and honestly- never judging or reprimanding. She kept all our little secrets and truly had our backs. We never washed dishes or cleaned up by ourselves. She always was around lending everyone a helping hand. And our birthdays! Even though she didn't have a lot of money, she always made sure to slip us a little pocket change for our birthdays. Up until now, she was so happy everytime she saw us when we visited Trinidad, never thought we stayed long enough and she loved my little girls so very much! 

So though I am sad, I am grateful. I am grateful that she was such kind, caring company for my grandmother. As hard as it is to say, I'm relieved that she's not suffering anymore. I truly believe in a perfect God with a perfect plan. But more than anything, I'm so grateful that she touched our lives. I'm grateful for seeing firsthand such kindheartness, gentle strength and inner beauty.

Rest in Peace, sweet V. Thank you so very much for all that you were.

Linking up for The Grateful Heart with Ember Grey

Have a wonderful week. 

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  1. V, you were such a unique and wonderful individual, a special part of our family, and will truly be missed by each and everyone, but you are in a safe heaven and don't have to worry about severe headaches, uncontrolled seizures and unknown devastating after effects, visiting TNT will never be the same , your thoughtfulness, caring and kindness will never be forgotten.
    S, your blog was touching, heart wrenching and tear flowing, great eulogy from this family
    May your gentle soul rest in peace forever.

  2. Oh, Sarita, I am so, so sorry. Your words do her amazing justice. It is so nice to be surrounded in our lives by such beautiful figures and presences. This is amazing. I will say some prayers for your family this week. xoxo <3

  3. I'm so sorry for your family's loss. Your post paints such a beautiful picture of her. It's always remarkable to me when someone can go through so much trauma and still be a positive force in other people's lives.

  4. So sorry for your loss. Praying for you friend.

  5. I'm so, so sorry, Sarita! You're words about V were wonderful. I can tell she'll be greatly missed. Big hugs to you and your family!

  6. Sarita, I am so, so sorry for your loss. Blood related or not, some people just ARE family - forever and always.

  7. Sarita, I'm so sorry for your loss. Thinking of you and your family.

  8. Very well said... May the journey of this sweet souls continue to be beautiful and perfect..,


Hearing from you makes me so happy!!

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